.jpg)
xoxo,
JY <3
Thursday 4 November 2010
Sunday 19 September 2010
Wednesday 8 September 2010
how are you?
it has been two months plus since she's gone.
everything seem so fast, maybe too fast.
ya, i know. people keep telling me its over stop thinking.
but, it isn't as easy as you think.
how many could actually truly understand the feeling?
how much i miss her, how many things i wanna tell her.
i still cry secretly at night.
hide under my blanket like a small baby.
it just hurt so much.
when will the feeling fade?
guess it will remain there forever till the day i leave the world too?
move on, jy.
i'm just pretending to smile even though it hurt so much in the heart.
i want the world to know i'm strong, i can do it.
momma, how're you doing over there? :)
xoxo,
JY <3
it has been two months plus since she's gone.
everything seem so fast, maybe too fast.
ya, i know. people keep telling me its over stop thinking.
but, it isn't as easy as you think.
how many could actually truly understand the feeling?
how much i miss her, how many things i wanna tell her.
i still cry secretly at night.
hide under my blanket like a small baby.
it just hurt so much.
when will the feeling fade?
guess it will remain there forever till the day i leave the world too?
i'm just pretending to smile even though it hurt so much in the heart.
i want the world to know i'm strong, i can do it.
momma, how're you doing over there? :)
xoxo,
JY <3
Saturday 26 June 2010
life is fragile
knowing the death of the lady opposite my mum's bed really sadden my heart.
she's still lying there finely yesterday night.
though she can't move nor talk and need oxygen for breathing.
i could feel she's struggling hard to live.
but still, she left.
later on, a Indian young girl who is about my age occupied the same bed.
looking at her, my heart sink.
overheard what her family were saying, the doctor asked them to be mentally prepared.
she was transfer to HD/ICU around evening.
felt really emotional over these two issues.
though they're not related to me.
somehow, i still feel really sad.
my eyes were red and my bro saw.
he told me don't anyhow think.
my mind still went wild.
I'm really really very scare.
the fear of rushing her to hospital a&e.
waiting outside the cold area.
waiting for blood test and stuff.
then, admitted in the hospital again and again.
it's been happening almost every month.
i don't like the feeling, not at all.
we should stop complaining.
we are bless enough to be healthy.
love your life.
knowing the death of the lady opposite my mum's bed really sadden my heart.
she's still lying there finely yesterday night.
though she can't move nor talk and need oxygen for breathing.
i could feel she's struggling hard to live.
but still, she left.
later on, a Indian young girl who is about my age occupied the same bed.
looking at her, my heart sink.
overheard what her family were saying, the doctor asked them to be mentally prepared.
she was transfer to HD/ICU around evening.
felt really emotional over these two issues.
though they're not related to me.
somehow, i still feel really sad.
my eyes were red and my bro saw.
he told me don't anyhow think.
my mind still went wild.
I'm really really very scare.
the fear of rushing her to hospital a&e.
waiting outside the cold area.
waiting for blood test and stuff.
then, admitted in the hospital again and again.
it's been happening almost every month.
i don't like the feeling, not at all.
we should stop complaining.
we are bless enough to be healthy.
love your life.
Monday 14 June 2010
Monday 7 June 2010
Friday 4 June 2010
heaven is testing my determination
i know i ain't the clever type.
but, i never felt so stupid before.
like seriously, i feel that I'm such a failure.
why couldn't i handle it better? why can't i?
I'm nothing but such a disappointment.
I thought I could manage some of the paper.
the least I expect I would flunk it.
yes, I failed all my modules.
I couldn't believe my own eyes too.
I keep refreshing and refreshing hoping that it'll change.
it din. it stays the same.
it hurts more when I know how mum will be disappointed with my results.
till now, I dare not break this news to her.
it even hurts more, when the doctor says if she carry on like this,
she could only live for weeks or months.
yet, I can't made her feel better and gotten myself into this kinda shit.
the feeling is like I rather die off then to see her disappointed face.
I'm really upset about myself.
what went wrong?!
I did try my best, perhaps not my very best.
I'm nothing but trouble.
I could accept the fact that I flunk the modules.
I just couldn't accept the fact that I'm going to disappoint my mum.
suddenly, I couldn't see where's my future anymore.
there's so much I wanna achieve.
I had a goal but it's getting further away from me.
I could feel the distant when I once thought it's so near.
but, not anymore.
my cousin asked me this: 你有没有做好心理准备？
I told her even if I did, when she's gone. I really couldn't accept the fact.
she has yet attend my degree graduation ceremony.
she has yet seen me marry off.
she has yet carry her grandchild.
she has yet go oversea trip which I promise I would bring her go.
that day I told her my friends went taiwan.
she looked at me and say, you very envy?
I said no. I really mean so.
I told her if I have got the money, I would rather bring you and our family go then to spend the money on myself.
what's more important then kinship?
I might be stubborn but I'm very certain I'm not selfish nor self centered.
I appreciate whatever people have done for me.
if you're good, I'll be even better to you.
last year, I said I'll give you five years of my life.
I choose to believe my prayers will be heard.
momma, I love you.
I'm sorry to disappoint you again.
i know i ain't the clever type.
but, i never felt so stupid before.
like seriously, i feel that I'm such a failure.
why couldn't i handle it better? why can't i?
I'm nothing but such a disappointment.
I thought I could manage some of the paper.
the least I expect I would flunk it.
yes, I failed all my modules.
I couldn't believe my own eyes too.
I keep refreshing and refreshing hoping that it'll change.
it din. it stays the same.
it hurts more when I know how mum will be disappointed with my results.
till now, I dare not break this news to her.
it even hurts more, when the doctor says if she carry on like this,
she could only live for weeks or months.
yet, I can't made her feel better and gotten myself into this kinda shit.
the feeling is like I rather die off then to see her disappointed face.
I'm really upset about myself.
what went wrong?!
I did try my best, perhaps not my very best.
I'm nothing but trouble.
I could accept the fact that I flunk the modules.
I just couldn't accept the fact that I'm going to disappoint my mum.
suddenly, I couldn't see where's my future anymore.
there's so much I wanna achieve.
I had a goal but it's getting further away from me.
I could feel the distant when I once thought it's so near.
but, not anymore.
my cousin asked me this: 你有没有做好心理准备？
I told her even if I did, when she's gone. I really couldn't accept the fact.
she has yet attend my degree graduation ceremony.
she has yet seen me marry off.
she has yet carry her grandchild.
she has yet go oversea trip which I promise I would bring her go.
that day I told her my friends went taiwan.
she looked at me and say, you very envy?
I said no. I really mean so.
I told her if I have got the money, I would rather bring you and our family go then to spend the money on myself.
what's more important then kinship?
I might be stubborn but I'm very certain I'm not selfish nor self centered.
I appreciate whatever people have done for me.
if you're good, I'll be even better to you.
last year, I said I'll give you five years of my life.
I choose to believe my prayers will be heard.
momma, I love you.
I'm sorry to disappoint you again.
Tuesday 1 June 2010
happy, excited and worried.
i'm happy because taka sales ended.
no more standing of 12hours everyday.
excited because i hit my target!
but, still have to wait till next month end before i get my pay.
so now, i'm still broke, lol!
worried because result gonna be out on 3rd, i think?
if i so gonna fail all, i'll go and die.
HAHAHAHA. *bitter laughters.
:(
BABY IS BACKKKKKK! ♥♥♥
he got me many food.
and this box of chocolate.
teeheehee.
see the wordings inside.
yes, he call me pipi. ♥
cause i'm full of rubbish.
talk like fang pi. HAHAHA.
my tiffany and co keychain.
so pretty right.
totally love it man!
alright, i admit its a fake one but look alike what. no?
its actually lancome limited ed keychain.
one of our free gift but i thought it somehow look alike.
took one home cause it's so chio. hehehee.
i tell you five of sales is total madness.
look at my face you know already.
last day when it ended.
happy but shag till like idk what.
HAHAHA.
i hope they give me full timer comm or ot pay instead of part time comm.
but actually full timer comm or ot pay not much different too though.
like 30$?
p/s: i hope i pass my exams. but, i know its imossible.
xoxo;
JY <3
i'm happy because taka sales ended.
no more standing of 12hours everyday.
excited because i hit my target!
but, still have to wait till next month end before i get my pay.
so now, i'm still broke, lol!
worried because result gonna be out on 3rd, i think?
if i so gonna fail all, i'll go and die.
HAHAHAHA. *bitter laughters.
:(
BABY IS BACKKKKKK! ♥♥♥
he got me many food.
and this box of chocolate.
teeheehee.
see the wordings inside.
yes, he call me pipi. ♥
cause i'm full of rubbish.
talk like fang pi. HAHAHA.
my tiffany and co keychain.
so pretty right.
totally love it man!
alright, i admit its a fake one but look alike what. no?
its actually lancome limited ed keychain.
one of our free gift but i thought it somehow look alike.
took one home cause it's so chio. hehehee.
i tell you five of sales is total madness.
look at my face you know already.
last day when it ended.
happy but shag till like idk what.
HAHAHA.
i hope they give me full timer comm or ot pay instead of part time comm.
but actually full timer comm or ot pay not much different too though.
like 30$?
p/s: i hope i pass my exams. but, i know its imossible.
xoxo;
JY <3
Friday 28 May 2010
totally worn out
5k
5k
5k
5k
5k
everyday must do 5k, like hell lot!
i wanna hit so badly.
it's like so much money.
esp, when my cm says if i hit she help me fight for full timer comm.
FYI, full timer get higher percentage then part time.
so, 5k 5k 5k 5k 5k.
$_$
then, i can pamper myself with tiny weey retail therapy!
xoxo,
JY <3
5k
5k
5k
5k
5k
everyday must do 5k, like hell lot!
i wanna hit so badly.
it's like so much money.
esp, when my cm says if i hit she help me fight for full timer comm.
FYI, full timer get higher percentage then part time.
so, 5k 5k 5k 5k 5k.
$_$
then, i can pamper myself with tiny weey retail therapy!
xoxo,
JY <3
Monday 24 May 2010
ultimate sian x100
longggggg week ahead.
i thought Taka sales was like 4 days but it turn out to be 5 days.
omfg, how tiring can it be?
imagine working 12hours for 5 days?!
and the target is like wth, how to hit?!
but what to do, money.
$_$
I'm so broke that I decided to eat at staff canteen everyday.
vege rice, one meat two vege 2.90$ only.
cheap and fulling! i always finish the whole big plate.
teeheehee.
i think i need to gain weight.
people are telling me i am getting thinner.
but, idk why only my face growing side way.
the fats can pass to nehneh pok anot?
HAHAHA, i know la. fat hope. *pout mouth.
i have to put the idea of revamping my room aside.
wait till I've got extra cashhhhh.
yes, WAIT.
buy more toto, maybe got hope.
but, I buy already always lazy to check. so no point buying.
tmr morning shift, total awsome like shit.
i hope i don't oversleep.
polymates gathering and fizah's wedding photos up on fb!
goodnight pretty!
p/s: forgive and forgive.
xoxo,
JY <3
longggggg week ahead.
i thought Taka sales was like 4 days but it turn out to be 5 days.
omfg, how tiring can it be?
imagine working 12hours for 5 days?!
and the target is like wth, how to hit?!
but what to do, money.
$_$
I'm so broke that I decided to eat at staff canteen everyday.
vege rice, one meat two vege 2.90$ only.
cheap and fulling! i always finish the whole big plate.
teeheehee.
i think i need to gain weight.
people are telling me i am getting thinner.
but, idk why only my face growing side way.
the fats can pass to nehneh pok anot?
HAHAHA, i know la. fat hope. *pout mouth.
i have to put the idea of revamping my room aside.
wait till I've got extra cashhhhh.
yes, WAIT.
buy more toto, maybe got hope.
but, I buy already always lazy to check. so no point buying.
tmr morning shift, total awsome like shit.
i hope i don't oversleep.
polymates gathering and fizah's wedding photos up on fb!
goodnight pretty!
p/s: forgive and forgive.
xoxo,
JY <3
Wednesday 19 May 2010
I'm growing mushroom on my head
I'm so bored.
I'm so bored.
I'm so bored.
I'm so f-ing bored!
I'm so rich.
I'm so rich.
I'm so rich.
I'm so f-ing rich.
I'm rich with 22.50$ in my bank account.
total coolness.
and i cancelled my work this week due to momma admission to sgh again.
can money drop from sky?
$_$
p/s: I'm so missing you, handsome. 11 more days! <3
I'm so bored.
I'm so bored.
I'm so bored.
I'm so f-ing bored!
I'm so rich.
I'm so rich.
I'm so rich.
I'm so f-ing rich.
I'm rich with 22.50$ in my bank account.
total coolness.
and i cancelled my work this week due to momma admission to sgh again.
can money drop from sky?
$_$
p/s: I'm so missing you, handsome. 11 more days! <3
Sunday 16 May 2010
helpless
if only everyone could die peacefully.
so, they wouldn't suffer from any pain.
isn't it so much better?
last year, i prayed.
i would give you five years of my life.
one year have passed.
means i am left with four years.
i hope my prayers are heard, really hope so.
you promised to attend my wedding, don't you?
i know it's hard, it requires lots of effort.
but hang on, I'll be there.
it requires more love to let go then to hang on.
how true.
xoxo,
JY <3
if only everyone could die peacefully.
so, they wouldn't suffer from any pain.
isn't it so much better?
last year, i prayed.
i would give you five years of my life.
one year have passed.
means i am left with four years.
i hope my prayers are heard, really hope so.
you promised to attend my wedding, don't you?
i know it's hard, it requires lots of effort.
but hang on, I'll be there.
it requires more love to let go then to hang on.
how true.
xoxo,
JY <3
Friday 14 May 2010
if only;
I had.....
snow white skin,
bigger eyes,
sharper nose,
sexier lips,
sharper chin,
bigger boobs,
longer legs,
no backbone problem.
i would have feel a tad lil better, not so much of inferior.
sighhhh, maybe if i pray hard enough next life I'll be prettier?
even I've got the money i won't go for plastic surgery.
nose job? i always sneeze so hard later nose drop how?
THINK ONLY.
imma so boring at home.
can't wait for baby to be back.
work will keep me occupied. *pat shoulder.
xoxo,
JY <3
I had.....
snow white skin,
bigger eyes,
sharper nose,
sexier lips,
sharper chin,
bigger boobs,
longer legs,
no backbone problem.
i would have feel a tad lil better, not so much of inferior.
sighhhh, maybe if i pray hard enough next life I'll be prettier?
even I've got the money i won't go for plastic surgery.
nose job? i always sneeze so hard later nose drop how?
THINK ONLY.
imma so boring at home.
can't wait for baby to be back.
work will keep me occupied. *pat shoulder.
xoxo,
JY <3
Friday 7 May 2010
Sunday 2 May 2010
Thursday 22 April 2010
living on earth is the greatest thing ♥
actually wanna do a full entry about simei's birthday but she only send me some of the photos.
after which i realise those photos are mostly her face only. HAHA.
so, here's a preview of the four of our faces first.
next up, will be something eye opening!
angelic face, devillish body, i swear your nose will bleed.
my face look so chui! cannot blame it was like 12+am when we took this.
and have been busy the whole day before that.
after so long, i'm still not done with my stats questions.
well, i admit i only studied on tuesday this week.
monday and yesterday was totally doing some other unrelated stuffs.
p/s: next update will most probably be after my exams on 5th may. esther, dont doubt my english :(
xoxo,
JY <3
actually wanna do a full entry about simei's birthday but she only send me some of the photos.
after which i realise those photos are mostly her face only. HAHA.
so, here's a preview of the four of our faces first.
next up, will be something eye opening!
angelic face, devillish body, i swear your nose will bleed.
my face look so chui! cannot blame it was like 12+am when we took this.
and have been busy the whole day before that.
after so long, i'm still not done with my stats questions.
well, i admit i only studied on tuesday this week.
monday and yesterday was totally doing some other unrelated stuffs.
"studying is derived from the word students dying.
how about studied?
students died from studying?"
p/s: next update will most probably be after my exams on 5th may. esther, dont doubt my english :(
xoxo,
JY <3
Saturday 17 April 2010
today is saturday
and i'm staying at home to mug.
how boring is this?!
nevermind, three more weeks and it's gonna be over. yessss.
visited momma yesterday with b.
we have to register our details before going up.
the counter person ask what is b rls with momma.
without thinking i said: SONNN!
like wtf, the person must be thinking why daughter and son got different surname?!
screw my tiny weeny tweety bird brain. :(
b, you're really irritating at times but you're still so lovable. teeheehee.
i dream that b took me on a weird looking yatch.
i was sun tanning at the top and i was like almost falling into the sea.
was so afraid and asked b to drive to land, i don't wanna be on sea i'm scared.
so, he let me alight and he went to park his yatch which is at the opposite of land.
then, he finally came back to land looking wet.
because he said he park the yatch and swam back! (i think he wanna act heroooo)
i think it's mad funnyyyy!
i doubt you guys get the story right?
sound so complicated. HAHA.
chill jy! take things easy.
i know you can do it.
xoxo,
JY <3
and i'm staying at home to mug.
how boring is this?!
nevermind, three more weeks and it's gonna be over. yessss.
visited momma yesterday with b.
we have to register our details before going up.
the counter person ask what is b rls with momma.
without thinking i said: SONNN!
like wtf, the person must be thinking why daughter and son got different surname?!
screw my tiny weeny tweety bird brain. :(
b, you're really irritating at times but you're still so lovable. teeheehee.
i dream that b took me on a weird looking yatch.
i was sun tanning at the top and i was like almost falling into the sea.
was so afraid and asked b to drive to land, i don't wanna be on sea i'm scared.
so, he let me alight and he went to park his yatch which is at the opposite of land.
then, he finally came back to land looking wet.
because he said he park the yatch and swam back! (i think he wanna act heroooo)
i think it's mad funnyyyy!
i doubt you guys get the story right?
sound so complicated. HAHA.
chill jy! take things easy.
i know you can do it.
xoxo,
JY <3
Wednesday 14 April 2010
hormones change;
as seen on my heading, hormones do change when we grow.
i use to dislike pink in the past, but now i think pink is oh-so-adorable.
most importantly, our thinking change as the time goes.
i have learn to take things easier, still learning.
in fact struggling to handle things better.
afterall, humans don't live forever.
they will age and migrate to another world someday right?
i know miracle do happen, it will.
momma, get well soon.
i'm waiting, you know it don't you?
it's time for me to grow and learn.
the earth will never stop turning.
get on with life and live it.
silence could be the best support at times.
whatever it is, i really want to pass my exams badly.
and i think i only reveal my real emotion infront of b and sweetheart.
p/s: feel like sitting on a long bus ride and blasting loud music into my hears.
xoxo,
JY <3
as seen on my heading, hormones do change when we grow.
i use to dislike pink in the past, but now i think pink is oh-so-adorable.
most importantly, our thinking change as the time goes.
i have learn to take things easier, still learning.
in fact struggling to handle things better.
afterall, humans don't live forever.
they will age and migrate to another world someday right?
i know miracle do happen, it will.
momma, get well soon.
i'm waiting, you know it don't you?
it's time for me to grow and learn.
the earth will never stop turning.
get on with life and live it.
whatever it is, i really want to pass my exams badly.
and i think i only reveal my real emotion infront of b and sweetheart.
p/s: feel like sitting on a long bus ride and blasting loud music into my hears.
xoxo,
JY <3
Monday 12 April 2010
good morning sunshine!
brand new week, which mean exam coming nearer.
i spell god-damn-it!
early in the morning i receive a upsetting email.
HH cancelled the stitch flat, nevertheless i think they did the right thing.
they shouldn't compromise with the factory incompetency.
time check: 1020am.
eat breakfast, rest, bathe and start studying.
teeheehee.
xoxo,
JY <3
brand new week, which mean exam coming nearer.
i spell god-damn-it!
early in the morning i receive a upsetting email.
HH cancelled the stitch flat, nevertheless i think they did the right thing.
they shouldn't compromise with the factory incompetency.
time check: 1020am.
eat breakfast, rest, bathe and start studying.
teeheehee.
xoxo,
JY <3
Saturday 10 April 2010
HELLOOOOO!
finally a new blog, thinking of getting rid of the old one since like long ago.
teeheehee. i wanted fatbananas but the name is being taken, ewww.
so, i added one more na, lol.
exams coming real soon.
terrible, seeing myself in deep shit.
looking forward to the holiday though.
BC launch today and i finally achieve that monster hand! HAHA.
i comment 1min after the launch and i got it.
BUT, i forget to put the colour i want and so GONE.
i think photoshop is so cool!
damn terribly nice man, HEHEHEHE.
mystery will be reveal soon if possible.
going off sweetums!
xoxo,
JY <3
finally a new blog, thinking of getting rid of the old one since like long ago.
teeheehee. i wanted fatbananas but the name is being taken, ewww.
so, i added one more na, lol.
exams coming real soon.
terrible, seeing myself in deep shit.
looking forward to the holiday though.
BC launch today and i finally achieve that monster hand! HAHA.
i comment 1min after the launch and i got it.
BUT, i forget to put the colour i want and so GONE.
i think photoshop is so cool!
damn terribly nice man, HEHEHEHE.
mystery will be reveal soon if possible.
going off sweetums!
xoxo,
JY <3
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